This post has been rolling around in my head for over a year now, which is fairly believable to you all since I haven’t written here much in about two years; right?
Just know – it’s not you; it’s me.
I don’t even know where to begin. I shared our tainted hope, my begging God for more miracles, and painful transparency as our family held on by a thread. And yet, when that final thread broke, I was too afraid to share it with you – fear of judgment, fear of saying the words out loud, fear of admitting to myself the reality of it all.
So I hid. I abandoned both the blogs that guaranteed a circle of friends and followers, and prayer warriors, and I hid in the shadows for nearly two whole years. And two years of life and changes happened to us and around us, and I have no idea where to begin to catch you all up.
When it came time to send out Christmas cards last year, I chose to hide once again. Normally we send cutesy family photos out with holiday greetings to piles and piles of people in our past and present. But last year, I couldn’t bring myself to take a family photo with one person missing, to write the holiday greeting and leave his name off.
A year and lots of healing and processing later, it’s time to rip the bandaid off, folks.
The short version -
I am now a single mother of three amazingly challenging, strong and resilient children. And we are now back in our little corner of North Georgia, not in the house we loved, but just down the road. And life goes on. Survival mode is almost a thing of the past. The blessings far outweigh the bad, though there are still days we all might forget that a little. But God is good, and faithful, and holds us all tight in His hands.
The rest of the details are… well,… personal. Understand that, if you please. Judge, if you must. Love and pray for us, if you will.
Oh… And Christmas cards will be going out soon.